


I'd Stop Time For You

by Paynlinson



Category: Shawn Mendes (Musician)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-25 22:10:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17129642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paynlinson/pseuds/Paynlinson
Summary: “I hate you” she said with a laugh, leaning into him.Warmth rushed over his body and his stomach seemed to be practicing for the Olympics with how many flips it was doing.She made his whole body feel like it was on fire and he loved it. He loved her.But she wasn't his.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Or Shawn is in love with his best friend and cant deal with his feelings.





	I'd Stop Time For You

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written in ages and thought I'd give it another shot.

She was beautiful. 

The way her hair fell perfectly to her shoulders, the royal purple sheen gleaming brilliantly in the light and the way her nose curved just slightly upward. The way her chocolate eyes sparkled when the sun hit them and the crinkles that formed around her eyes when she smiled. 

She was never one for tradition. Always having a different hair color and her style never making sense to anyone but her. She never wanted to be called "normal" it was like a curse word to her. 

“Make your own path” she’d say

It was cheesy and cliche, but it was her.

And she was beautiful. 

They'd been best friends since age 2. They'd met at nursery school and seemed to be inseparable since then. Always at the others house on weekends. The birthday parties, the sandbox, the park, the movies. No matter where you saw one, the other wasn't far behind. From nursery school, to primary, to high school. All the way till now.

Even as the massive crowds scream his name and the bright, glittery lights of stardom have become his new reality, she was the only face he'd look for. That bright smile and shining eyes. The look of pride from his best friend.

She was beautiful. 

But she wasn't his. 

She belonged to someone else. Someone that made a bitter taste run through Shawn's mouth and his fists to involuntarily clench.

He wasn't right for her. She deserved better. She deserved him.

But she wasn't his.

Eric was his name. He was tall. Shorter than Shawn by an inch or 2. Sandy blond hair draped around his face in what Shawn called an emo bowl cut. 

She'd always tell him to shut up but a smile would be on her face, so he knew she agreed. 

They weren't fond of each other, Eric and Shawn. Shawn knew what he was. He had seen him out with a girl that wasn't her that seemed a little too friendly.

He couldn't tell her though. He didn't want to destroy her. He wanted to save her. He wanted to hold her and love her and never let anyone hurt her again.

But she wasn't his. 

He wasn't sure when these feelings started. Maybe they had always been there. Maybe they were brand new. All he knew was when he got the word he'd be on tour and wouldn't be able to see her. Hold her. Touch her. Hear her laugh for 6 whole months, something in him clicked. 

They'd been inseparable their whole life. And now he was going away for half a year and she couldn't be by his side.

He remembers when he told her. She was shocked, a look of sadness washed over her face that was quickly replaced with pride and happiness.

“You deserve this” She said, taking his hand as she had done many times before. A shiver ran across his spine, like her fingers were electricity igniting his skin. That. Was new.

“You deserve all of this and you're amazing and I'm so proud of you” She said, her voice breaking only slightly. 

“But.. I'll miss you” He said, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I'll miss you more, dork” she said, a smile on her face as she allowed a single tear to fall. “But it's only 6 months and you have my number so you can call and tell me crazy fan stories”

He smiled at her, pushing the lump in his throat back. He loved her smile. He loved the way she new what to say to calm his raging mind.

He loved her.

And that was new.

He'd always loved her as a friend. She was the first friend he'd ever had. But this. This was something different.

“I love you, Annie” He said, as he had many times in the past. This time, however, he wasn't sure if he meant it in the same way.

“Don't go getting all sappy on me, dork” She said, a mischievous smile on her face.

He let out a small laugh and pulled her into him. She smelled like strawberries. It was her favorite shampoo and to shawn in that moment, it was the best smell in the world.

He loved her. He love Annabelle Lee Torres.

But she wasn't his.

He was the only one allowed to call her Annie. She would glare daggers at anyone who tried. Even Eric had to call her Belle. That was one thing that was his.

“Chawnie” she would call him. A nod to when they were younger and she couldn't pronounce his name correctly. And it stuck. And he kind of liked it.

“Penny for your thoughts” A voice said from next to him, breaking him out of his own mind.

It was her, breathtaking as always. She had gotten a nose ring since the last time he saw her. He'd never been a big fan of facial piercings, but on her, if looked perfect. Made her even more stunning to him.

“Mm, just taking everything back in” He said with a small smile, bumping his hip against hers.

She let out a small laugh and smiled at him “Small town not exciting enough for you, superstar?” 

“Shut up” he said with a breathless laugh. 

He missed this. He missed being with her. He missed laughing and having her next to him. Feeling her body so close and the warmth she radiated. 

He missed her so much more than words could ever truly express 

But she wasn't his.

And that's when he saw him. Eric. Walking directly towards them.

Shawn felt the bile rise slightly from his stomach to his through and his fist clench. ‘Deep breaths’ be thought to himself, forcing himself to calm down.

Eric approached then, a fake smile on his face as his eyes bore into Shawn's soul.

“Welcome back. Good to see you” He said. The toothy fake smile causing Shawn to want to sneer in disgust.

“Yeah, you too man” Shawn said, offering a small nod.

He would give anything to just punch his smug look off his face. But he can't. He had to be cordial. For her.

“Ready to leave, babe” He said to her, his arm gripping hers just a little too tightly for Shawn's liking.

“But we just got here and I haven't seen my Chawnie on 6 whole months!” She said, a pout on her face and her bottom lip poked out.

Shawn swallows hard, restraining himself from pulling her in and kissing her right there. 

 

Eric visibly scowled at the childish nickname and rolled his eyes. “Fine, I'll be by the bar” he said before storming off.

“He’s a dick” Shawn grunted, staring daggers at the back of Eric's head.

“He is not! He's a good guy.” She said, pursing her lips.

“Nah, still a dick” He said, a smirk on his face

“I hate you” she said with a laugh, leaning into him.

Warmth rushed over his body and his stomach seemed to be practicing for the Olympics with how many flips it was doing.

She made his whole body feel like it was on fire and he loved it. He loved her.

But she wasn't his. 

~~

He got the call at 4 in the morning. The blinding light of his phone and the loud buzzing pulling him from sleep. He stared groggily at the screen, eyes squinting to adjust.

“Hello” he said, his voice full of sleep as he runs his fingers through his hair, trying to tame the bed hair he knew he had.

“S-shawn” he heard her say. He shot straight up, all traces of sleep leaving his body.

Something was wrong

Her voice sounded shaky and wet. She was crying.

“What happened” he said, his voice sounding frantic. His heart was pounding as he turned the light on.

“Annie” he said after a long pause, checking his phone to see if the line was still connected. 

“Can you open the door.” She said softly, her voice still shaky.

He rushed out of bed, fumbling to the light, flicking the switch.

He got to the door and swung it open. His heart sank when he saw her.

Her hair was a mess, streaks of makeup lining her face and tracks of tears staining her cheeks. Her eyes were red and puffy, still spilling with tears.

And then he saw it. A bruise resting on her jawline. Dark purple and blue. It looked new.

“I'll fucking kill him” he said through gritted teeth.

“Just.. please” she pleaded, her voice so full of sadness.

He pulled her into a tight embrace, kicking the door closed with his feet 

She climbed to him, her small frame trembled against him as her hands gripped his shirt and small sobs echoed from her throat.

“I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry Annie, please don't cry.”

His heart felt like it shattered into a million pieces that. He wanted to hold her and never let her go. He couldn't bare to see it. 

He'd always hated seeing her cry. He always felt obligated to protect her. 

She was fierce and unapologetic. She could easily handle herself in any situation. But she was also sensitive and loving. She'd give her later dime to make sure someone could eat. And when she loved, she loved hard.

The first time he saw her truly cry was when they were 15. She had just been dumped by this guy in high school who wanted to “see other people” 

“What kind of bullshit is that” she sobbed, her head against his shoulder.

He held her close while she cried, his heart breaking with every small whimper

“Why am I not good enough” She said, he voice small, lacking all the confidence he always saw in her.

“That not true at all! You're more than enough and if this asshole cant see it, you're better off without him” he had told her, pulling her even closer.

Her breathing steadying as she clung to him. “Thank you for being my best friend”

For some reason that stung, but he didn't care. His only focus was making her okay.

Because that's what best friends are for. 

She met Eric shortly after that. He seemed decent at first, Shawn even encouraged her to pursue it. He looks back now and thinks that it was maybe for his own benefit than hers, hoping her finding someone would help him sort his own feelings and let her go. That was a mistake.

And now, 2 years later, she in his arms again, clinging to him and sobbing, her body shaking as she's pressed into him.

Shawn knew this wasn't the first time he'd hit her. He'd always see the bruises. See her trying to cover them up or excuse them with a “little too much fun” 

But he knew. He always saw the sadness behind her eyes when she was with him. The slight fear when he raised his voice too much or gripped her too hard.

He saw it, but he never pushed because she never wanted to bring it up. Always changing the subject when he would mention something.

She deserved better. She deserved more than this. More than Eric. She deserves someone who would love her. Someone who would value her. Someone who would kiss her and make her feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. 

She deserved better. She deserved Shawn.

But she wasn't his.

“Annie” he spoke softly, as to not startle her. “Annie, what happened”

She took a breath, her word unable to break from her throat.

“Annabelle please” He begged. He wanted her to say what he already knew. He wanted her to tell him.

“I… he… we just…” her voice broke as she tried to talk.

“Baby, please. Talk to me” he said. It felt bitter on his tongue to call her that. It was a thing they always did when the other was sad. Now it felt like so much more, at least to him.

“I.. he's never used his fist before. It's always been a slap or two but.. never” she started, her voice fading as she started to sob again. 

Shawn felt waves of emotion crash over him, pulling him under. Anger, rage, sadness. He had never wanted to hurt someone more than he did Eric in that moment.

“Shawn” She sobbed again, clinging to him. 

“Its okay, Annie. It's okay. I'm right here. I'm here and he's never going to hurt you again. I love you. I love you so much Annie” he felt like his skin was being ripped apart by the emotion and anger coursing through him. But his focus was on her.

He wanted to never let go. He wanted to keep her with him and hold her and love her and make sure no one ever hurt her. Especially not eric.

She wasn't his, but he would never let her be Eric's again.

~~  
He woke up around noon that day, eyes full of sleep and the sun cascaded over him through the blinds of his window. He let out a soft yawn and stretched, flickering his open as he heard a body shift next to him.

He glanced over and saw her. Her body felt warm against him and a groan caught in his throat. She was even more beautiful in the morning. 

Her hair messily sprawled on the pillow, her eyes closed and soft breath passing her parted lips. Her chest rising and falling gently. Peaceful.

She shifted again, her eyes fluttering open as she looked over at him, a small, sleepy smile crossing her face.

“Morning, sleepy head” She uttered sleepily, a yawn slipping past her lips.

“Good afternoon, beautiful” he said with a smile.

“Shut up, I look like Frankenstein's Monster” She said with a laugh.

“Lies and slander will not be tolerated in the household, madame” he stated with a laugh. 

He scanned her face, eyes immediately landing on the bruise. It was still dark purple, but yellow edges had begun to form, signifying the healing process had begun.

“Are you feeling okay” he asked her, concern showing on his face

“Yeah.. I just… yeah, I'm good” she said, shaking her head. 

Shawn knew she wasn't. He knew her for the better part of 15 years. She was like a book he had memorize from cover to cover. He knew every inch of her mind.

“You don't have to pretend with me, Annie.” He said, scooting slightly closer to her.

“I know, I know. It's just.. a lot right now” She stated, looking down and playing with her fingers

He placed a finger under her chin, forcing her to look at him.

She was beautiful. Her eyes still shining bright, even with the sadness filling them.

“Its okay. I'll never let him hurt you again” Shawn said, his voice getting serious. 

She smiled at him, looking into his eyes. He stared at her, taking in every inch of her face, like this would be the last time he saw her and didn't want to forget a single detail. 

As if a giant magnet was between them, he slowly inched closer to her, his thumb brushing over her cheek, careful not to touch the bruise. His eyes flicked down to her lips. They looked so soft, he wanted to get lost in them. 

Her eyes fluttered closed as he moved in closer, his centimeters from her, her steady breath hitting his face. His lips brushed hers ever so slightly, sending a jolt down his spine.

And then her phone rang. 

Shawn immediately knew who it was by her expression. Her brow furrowed and she began chewing her bottom lip.

“Don't pick up” Shawn said, almost begging. He knew what would happen if she did.

Eric would spew bullshit about how sorry he was. how it would never happen again. How he loved her and needed her. He knew the song and dance all too well.

“But.. I feel like I should” She said.

Shawn furrowed his brow “Annabelle”

He only said her full name when he was serious. She knew this, as she looked in his eyes.

The phone stopped ringing only to start up again a few seconds later.

“I should talk to him..” 

“Annabelle, no. You're not going back” Shawn stated firmly. He swore to himself last night he couldn't let him or anyone hurt her again. And he damn sure wasn't going to break that.

“I'm not a child shawn, I don't need you to protect me” She state. Her words flat and her arms crossed were over her chest.

“Did you look at your face? Your eyes are swollen and you have a massive bruise on your cheek.” Shawn stated, his voice, getting louder. “He hit you, Annie. He hit you.”

He took a deep breath, letting out a sigh “Please. Please just.. stay with me for a bit. Let's go have lunch and see a movie. Or we can stay here and I'll order food and we can watch Netflix”

She sighed, her phone continuously buzzing in her hand. “I have to talk to him, Shawn.” 

With that, she stood up taking her phone with her as she walked out of the room, a faint “Hi Eric” echoing behind her as she shut the bedroom door

He groaned in frustration as he fell back on his pillow, hand gripping his hair as he tried to restrain himself. He wanted to go out there, grab her phone, tell him to fuck off and pull her into him. He wants to kiss her and feel every inch of her. He wanted to protect her and show her that he could treat her better than he ever could.

He wanted to be hers

But he couldn't. Because she wasn't his.

~~  
It's been months since that day. He's back on tour, performing every night. His eyes staring out the window of the bus, mind a million miles away. 

He hasn't heard much from her since then. The occasional, ‘how are you’ text every once in a while.

He knew she took him back. He knew because he saw the new picture on her Instagram every few days. He felt like a mad person, constantly checking up on her, hoping for the day Eric's face would no longer appear beside hers. The day her smiles stopped being forced and her genuine smile would return.

The smile she always had with him. 

He decided to call her.

His heart raced as the dial tone buzzed in his ear. 

“Chawnie!” She exclaimed after picking up the phone

“Hey.. long time, no talk. You didn't forget about little old me, did you?” He said with a smile. It was like a calming wind hearing her voice again. Bringing him the comfort of home he generally lacked on the road.

“Of course not! I'd never forget my best friend”

The phrase cut him like knife. It felt as though someone had gripped him and squeezed the air out of his lungs

“How've you been” he asked, swallowing the lump in his throat, trying to soothe the burn that made him want to scream the truth 

“Surviving. I miss you. Come back to me!” She said in a sing song voice. That made his heart flutter.

“I want to. I'm exhausted by this all” he said, leaning back in his seat.

“But you get to live your dream. This is what you always wanted” 

‘I want you' he thought to himself, immediately shaking his head to rid his already buzzing mind of the invasive thought

“Yeah. It's incredible. I've been so many places I never thought I'd get to go”

He could hear her smile through the phone. She always had an infection smile that he could feel from hundreds of miles away. No matter what he felt, he smile always brought him comfort.

“I'm so proud of you.”

His heart felt full when she said that. Anytime she said that, it felt like he was doing something right. It was all worth it. The long hours, the months away from home. 

It all felt worth it because she was proud of him. 

“Come see me” he blurted out before he could stop himself. He wanted to see her so bad. He needed to be close to her

“Shawn, I can't. I have work and school. Plus Eric and I-” she started. A familiar bitterness washed over him at the mention of Eric.

Flashes of that night. The sadness on her face, the red, crying eyes. The small sobs from her lips. The large bruise that adorned her chin. It made him tense up 

“You're still with him” He said, his voice sounding harsher than he intended.

“I know you don't like him. But he's been better. We haven't had another… incident.. in months. And he apologized.”

“Annie” Shawn breathed. 

“Just give him a shot. For me. Please?” She pleaded

He could imagine her face. Her big eyes staring at him in a puppy dog expression, her bottom lip jutting out. It was adorable, he could never resist her.

“Fine. But I swear if he lays a hand of you again..”

“He won't. He promised.” She swore. He didn't believe that for a second 

“Okay… well bring him with you” Shawn sighed, reluctant to extend the invite. But he promised he'd try. “I'll fly you guys out for the show tomorrow.”

“Really? Are you sure?” She asked, surprise evident in her voice.

“Yeah. I want to see you and if he had to come along for that to happen, it'll be fine”

Shawn knew he'd regret this decision. But if it meant he could see her, he'd swallow his pride and deal with it.

Because even if she wasn't his, she was his best friend and, for now, that was enough. 

~~  
When she arrived at the airport, she ran straight into his arms. He held her close as he breathed in her sent. Vanilla this time with a hint of sugar. It was intoxicating. 

It felt like the world melted away when he was with her. When she was in his arms, he felt like he could take on the world.

The hug lingered longer than anticipated, and he never wanted it to end. Eric cleared his throat loudly from behind her, breaking the blissful peace that had swept over him.

“Good to see you, kid” He said, fake smile on his lips as he outstretched his hand, using his other to pull her back to him.

“Yeah, you too. Been okay?” Shawn asked, trying to sound interested as he shook his hand. 

He didn't care how he'd been. He honestly wanted to bash his face into the floor, but he promised he'd try. So he did

“Yeah, not as good as you, superstar. Found any good lays on the road” he said with a smirk. That made the desire to punch him even stronger

“Eric! That's not cool” She said, hitting his arm.

“What! It's not too often someone you know gets to tour the world. Millions of girls screaming your name. You can't tell me you haven't gotten so much pus-”

“Eric, stop” Annabelle stepped in again, clearly getting uncomfortable 

“It's alright, Annie. And uh, no. I haven't actually um…” Shawn stammered. A combination of anger and unease coursing through him.

“Ah, lame. Well thanks for inviting us out anyway.” Eric smiled, eyes similar to that of a snake. Shawn hated him. And Shawn never hated anyone.

 

The concert was amazing. The crowd cheered and sang every word, filling his exhausted body with adrenaline. This is what he lived for.

The screaming, the energy, the joy he got from his fans. It made all the hard times worth it. But having her there, singing along with him and beaming smiles from the side of the stage was the icing on the cake.

“You're doing amazing! I can't believe you've never invited me to one of your shows before, you jerk!” She said, hitting his arm playfully 

“You never asked” He laughed, wiping the sweat off his face. 

She poked her tongue out at him, still beaming with joy. “You suck”

“But you love me” Shawn laughed.

“Unfortunately”

Eric appeared behind her, placing a protective arm around her shoulder. The smile on Shawn's face dropping almost instantly.

“You're killing it dude, good work”

“Ha, thanks” Shawn stated, scratching at the back of his neck.

“I, uh.., I gotta head back on. See you guys in a bit” Shane smiled at them. Eric nodded and Annabelle smile excitedly 

“Good luck, Chawnie!” 

Shawn smiled once more before heading back on stage to do what he finish out the show, playing his heart out for the rest of the night. 

 

~~  
“Fuck you!” Shawn heard from down the hall of his hotel. The show had finished a few hours ago and everyone had gotten together for post show drinks. Annabelle and Eric had joined them for a while. The night was winding down when Eric disappeared.

“He probably just went back the hotel to lay down. You guys did have a long flight” Shawn said, trying to reason. 

He knew that probably wasn't true, but he promised annie he'd give him a shot and that's what he was doing. 

“It's a little weird he wouldn't tell, don't you think? Or even ask to take me with him.” Annabelle replied, her brown creased 

“Maybe he got really drunk and forgot” 

“That's dumb.” 

She was clearly upset. She tried to call him once more, but it kept going to voicemail 

“Hey, it's alright. Let's just head back to the hotel, it'll be fine. I bet he's there passed out”

That was an hour ago. 

“Belle wait, I can explain!” Shawn heard Eric call after her. 

He tried to ignore it. He didn't want to get involved because he knew if he did, he would end up seriously hurting him.

Then, a knock on his door. 

He sighed, getting up from the chair and opening the door.

“You were right. He's a dick” she stated, storming in and slamming the door. “And don't open it for him”

“What happened” Shawn asked, already sure he knew the answer.

“So he left the bar. But not alone” She spat, bitterly. “Left with some redhead bitch with fake tits”

“How do you know they were fake?” Shawn asked jokingly, trying to lighten the mood.

“Shut up” she said, fighting off a smile “I'm trying to be mad”

“Sorry, sorry.” He said, pulling her to sit on the bed with him 

She propped against him, head resting on his shoulder 

“Why can't I find just one good guy” She sighed, sadness now evident in her voice.

“You will. You just have to give it time”

“I just want someone who actually cares about me. Someone who calls me beautiful and wont go for the first girl that flashes tits at him.”

“You are beautiful, Annie. You deserve so much more than Eric.”

Shawn pulled her closer to him, her body almost on his lap. 

“And you'll have that one day. And it will be amazing”

She smiled, a tear slipping down her cheek. “I love you. Thank you for being here. And for inviting me out here.” 

Shawn smiled at her, staring in her eyes. They sparkled with sadness and a hint of affection. He would do anything to take her pain away.

She smiled at him, her eyes meeting his. His thumb brushed over her knee gently. He was overwhelmed by how close she was, her sweet scent filling his nose. He wanted her to be closer. He craved her body against his.

He lowered his head ever so slightly, worried that she'd reject him or accuse him of taking advantage of her.

She didn't seem to mind, however, as she lifted her head slightly, their breath colliding together and Shawn moved slowly to close the gap between them. Their lips brushed lightly against each others, a shiver gliding down Shawn spine. 

This is it. This is everything he's wanted for God knows how long.

And then the knock on the door rips him from his serene moment and shaking him back to the reality of the situation.

She still wasn't his.

Her head shot to the door, eyebrows furrowed in anger once more.

“Go away!” She yelled

“Belle, please. I made a mistake. Let's talk about this” Eric pleaded through the door. It would have been heartbreaking if he wasn't so pathetic.

“Talk about what? How your were balls deep in some other bitch in our hotel room that my best friend paid for? Nah, I'm good. Go fuck off somewhere and leave me alone” she bit back, anger seething from her body.

“Annabelle, please listen”

“Shawn.” She said, looking at Shawn. Her eyes pleading for help.

“Eric, it's not a good time. I'd suggest you go now or I'll have to call security” shawn called out. He hated using the “famous” card but he'd use it any day if Eric would just leave.

After a few moments of grumbles and silence a “fine, but we're not done talking about this” was called out before footsteps could be heard exiting the hallway

“Yeah we are!” She called out. “Prick”

Shawn laughed slightly, shaking his head.

“I mean the nerve of him! You did all of this for us and he just… God, I cant believe him” she sighed, shaking her head.

“You're handling this a lot better than I thought you would” Shawn said, shifting to look at her again.

“It's because I'm pissed. Guarantee I'll be a sniveling mess in the morning.” 

“Well I hope not”. He replied. He hated to see her cry. It was the worst thing he could imagine in that moment.

“Can.. can I stay with you tonight? I know you have a flight to catch in the morning, just like I do but I just thought since-”

“Annie. Yes, you can stay here”. Shawn smiled softly at her.

She smiled brightly back at him, bringing him in for a soft embrace.

“You're literally my life saver” She stated, her words muffled against his shoulder.

“Its fine. I'm always here for you, Annabelle” He said, calmly.

 

She smiled at him, leaning into him more. And he felt complete. Like the missing piece in him was finally starting to fill up. 

She fit perfectly next to him. Against him. Every curve of her body melded perfectly with his. Like two halves of a whole person finally being joined.

“Shawn?” She whispered against his shoulder. “Promise you'll never leave me” 

He took a sharp breath in, wishing he could tell her he wanted to be with her forever. Wanting to tell her he's been going crazy thinking about her and how he wanted to kiss every inch of her, be entwined in her and never leave her side.

“I promise Annie” He settled. 

She sighed, content, her eyes falling closed. It had been a long night for everyone and a wave of sleepy washed over him. He lifted he slightly, laying her down gently on the bed, moving her only to tuck her in.

She reached her arms out, hands grabbing at him like a child wanting a hug for comfort. His heart swelled as he watched her, three words creeping up his throat that could change everything.

“Come cuddle” she said, her voice sleepy and soft 

He nodded and slid in beside her, arm draping over her center, pulling her close. He breathed in her hair, the smell of her coconut shampoo bringing comfort to him.

“Night night Chawnie” She said, voice drifting off

“Night Annie” He said, watching as she cuddled closer, feeling her chest ride as her breathing steadied, signaling she had fallen into a peaceful slumber. 

“I love you.. so God damn much” he whispered mostly to himself.

He let out a deep sigh and let himself relax, falling into an uneasy slumber. 

While she still wasn't his, she was here, body lying next to him and for now, that was enough.

~~  
She kissed him. Shawn watched as they embraced, his stomach twisting in knots as he watched. Eric whispered something in her ear, a soft smile crossing her lips. She stood on her top toes, planting a soft kiss on his lips 

‘That should be me’

Shawn shook his head, rattling the thought from his brain.

He realized that she wouldn't let go of Eric, no matter how fucked up, no matter how much he destroyed her, 

That sat like a lead weight in the pit of his stomach.

She wasn't his. She would never be.

 

~~  
Months later he was home. He had a break for the first time in lord knows how long. He sat in his apartment mindlessly clicking through the channels, not really focusing on anything. 

He stopped on a random channel that was playing something with Gordon Ramsay. His phone lit up next to his leg, hand grabbing it absentmindedly.

‘He did it again' the text read. He knew it was from her. His heart sank when he read the words.

“Can I come over”

“Of course” he typed back, tossing his phone next to him.

He ran his hands through his hair, letting out a deep sigh. 

He knew this would happen. He knew he'd find himself back in the same situation as before, with him picking up the pieces.

But he was okay with it. He was okay because he could be close to her. He could hold her and feel her skin against his and it was worth it.

Because he could be hers, even if she wasn't his.

 

~~  
“Can I kill him now” he stated, fuming angrily as he placed an ice pack gently above her eye.

She winced in pain, then settled as the cooling sensation set in, numbing the physical pain.

“Please.. can you just.. not say I told you so” she said quietly, her voice shaking with sadness

He sighed, running a hand over his face. He sat next to her on the sofa, resting his hand over hers. 

“You can't go back” He said

His brain was racing a mile a minute. He tried to hold himself together, fighting the urge to get in his car and beat the ever loving hell out of Eric.

“It was my fault. I shouldn't have pushed him” she said, her eyes never meeting his.

“Annabelle Lee. This was not your fault. Don't ever say this was your fault. He's a fucking coward” Shawn seethed, venom dripping from every word.

She looked up at him. She knew he never used her full name, especially her middle. She knew he was serious. 

She let out a deep sigh, resting her head on his chest. “I just.. I don't want to think right now.” 

He nodded his head, resting his hand on her back, pulling he closer to him. “You don't have to. Just focus on right now”

“I love you” She said, her eyes falling closed.

It filled him with joy and sadness. He knew what she meant. He wished she meant it differently.

“I love you too” he breathed. She looked at him, a small, sad smile finding its place on her lip.

“Thank you for being my best friend”

The words she always said in this scenario. “Best friend”. The phrase the torn his heart a small bit every time it was utter

“I'll always be” He said, hiding the sadness in his voice.

He wanted more. He needed more than this. But he couldn't. Because she wasn't his.

He placed a soft kiss in her hair, breathing in her scent once more. 

He had to do something

And so he did.

Without thinking, he placed a finger under her chin, forcing her to look at him. He scanned her face, looking for any sign to tell him to stop. 

But he didn't.

He leaned in, placing a soft kiss on her lips. His whole body ignited the minute his touched hers. It was brief, but it was soft. It felt right. Like everything he ever wanted was placed right in front of him.

Her eyes fluttered open as he pulled away, a look of confusion, fear, and curiosity evident.

“I-I'm sorry i..” he stammered, trying to find his words and stop his heart from racing

“No.. no it's okay” She stated softly.

He ruined everything. He couldn't face her. Not right now.

“I'm gonna… go grab a drink or.. something” He said, trying to stand up

She placed her hand on his, stopping him “you don't have-”

“No no, it's okay. I'm just going to.. um” he stammered again, wanting to do anything to get out of this situation.

“Shawn please.” She pleaded, stopping him in his tracks.

He willed himself to look at her, her eyes filled with grief and sadness. It broke his heart a little.

“Don't” he said, pulling his eyes away from her. “Just.. don't”

“Don't what?” She asked. He stayed silent, refusing to look at her.

“Shawn.” She said again, her voice wavering

“Don't tell me that I'm an idiot, because I know. I shouldn't have done that. I just- I couldn't just..” he took a deep breath, trying to collect himself.

“I don't understand” She stated, her voice quiet and careful.

“Annabelle. I don't know what's wrong with me.” He sighed. 

“There's nothing wrong with you” 

He laughed at this “there is. For weeks I've been falling apart thinking about you. Everytime you're with him feels like a punch to the gut. Because I know you deserve better. You deserve someone who will only touch you with loving hands. Someone who only had eyes for you. And I want to be that person for you but I know I can't be because we're just best friends. And as you're best friend, I'm supposed to be there for you. You're hurting and all I can think about is kissing you again and again until you forget everything.” Shawn breathed exacerbate

He immediately regrets saying this. 

Her eyes go wide as the words hit her. All he wants to do is run and hide and pretend nothing happened.

But what's done is done. 

“Then why don't you” she asked after minutes that felt like hours. Shawn was taken aback by this. 

“Why don't you.. kiss me until I forget” 

He took a sharp breath. The words hitting him like a pile of bricks.

“Annabelle”

“I want you to..” She whispered “please” 

That was all it took.

Before he could process his actions, he swept her in his arms, lips pressed against hers. Careful, but desperate.

He felt drunk. His lungs felt like there we going to explode, but he needed her. He needed to taste her. To feel her this close. He needed her.

Soft moans escaped her lips, their breathing meshing together. He felt warm. His body felt like it was on fire, but he wanted more. He needed more of her. He needed to be closer to her.

“Shawn” she moaned against his mouth, the very words sending his blood rushing and his head spinning.

He pulled away against his desire, mostly for air but also wanting to read her face. He wanted to see how far he should go. Because there's no going back after this.

“Annie” he breathed, his breath dancing across her face.

Her eyes stayed shut for a moment before fluttering open, her eyes meeting his.

“I don't want you to feel like you have to..” he started 

“I want to. Shawn, I want this. I want you” she said, her breath shallow and desperate 

His heart filled. Like every piece that had been broken apart over the last 2 plus years magically repaired itself.

She wanted him. Him. 

“Okay”

He pulled her back in his arms, pressing his lip firmly to hers, more confidence behind his actions.

Desperate breathing filled the air as clothes were strewn haphazardly around the bed. Trembling hands moved along each others skin as their bodies entangled with each other. 

Her moans were like music to him. Drowning out the surrounding world like they were the only people on the planet.

In that moment, they were.

His lips trailed down her body, stopping every few inches to graze his teeth over her skin. He wanted to savor this moment. He wanted to drink her in and feel every sliver of her body. He wanted to trace her skin and watch her squirm under him.

To him, she was art. They way her soft moans and needy breaths fell past her lips. The way her eyes fluttered closed as his tongue and teeth nipped at her soft flesh. The way her hands entangled in his hair, gently pushing him lower to where she really wanted him.

She was art. 

“S-shawn” she moaned, desperate for some relief 

“Patience, baby” He muttered, nipping at her skin just below her belly button. 

She moaned loudly, pushing her hips up, silently begging for more. 

This was more than Shawn could have ever imagined. This was everything he wanted and nothing he ever thought he'd have.

She was his.

His hands traced patterns slowly up her bare thigh, stopping centimetres shy of where he knew she wanted him.

He looked up at her face, scanning it to be sure. He didn't want to take it too far if she wasn't sure.

She nodded slightly, giving a silently confirmation.

So he continued.

His hand grazed her, causing her body to jolt and a moan to involuntarily fall past her lips.

He loved this. He loved seeing her like this. Sprawled out on his bed. Desperate for him. Practically begging him to keep going.

He loved every minute of this. He loved every inch of her. But he wanted more. He needed more

He wanted to taste her. He wanted to feel her around him.

The thought of that caused a low groan front rumble in his throat.

He dipped his head lower, nipping at the soft skin over thighs. His eyes scanned her face as his tongue gently glided up leg. Her bottom lip pressed between her teeth and her eyes squeeze shut.

She was art.

His tongue flicked against her clit ever so slightly, causing her body to arch and a desperate moan to slip out.

“God, don't stop” she whined, hands gripping the sheets tightly.

So he didn't.

Hs kept teasing her, making slower and faster motions with his lips and tongue. Her needy cries making him harder than he thought could possibly be healthy.

She tasted sweet. He couldn't get enough of her. The way she smelled, the way she looked. Her soft whines and breathy moans. Her nails clawing at his shoulder, which he knew would leave reminders of this dream he was living in. The way her hands pulled at his hair, guiding him to where she wanted him. 

She was art. Like a fine painting hidden behind velvet rope. Like a sculpture in a glass box that shouldn't be touched. Like the Mona Lisa or Sistine chapel 

She was art. 

 

“S-shawn” She whined, pulling his head up from her thighs to look at him.

“I want you” she breathed, her chest heaving and a thin sheen of sweat glistened over her body under the dim light.

He wanted her too.

 

He steadied himself at her entrance, slowly circling the tip around the perimeter. She had a pout on her face as small whimpers left her lips.

God, was she beautiful.

He slid in her slowly, his legs trembling as he did so. When he bottomed out, he felt like his heart was going to exploded. The sensation of her around him. The warmth of her. The feeling of being inside her. This close to her.

It was almost too much.

He groaned loudly, as his hands gripped the pillow on either side of her head. He wanted to see her. He needed to look at her.

She was art.

Her lips were parted and her eyes were fluttering with each movement of his hips. Tiny flutters of breath seeping out with every thrust. Slow. Slow. 

He knew if he moved faster, this would be over far sooner than he wanted.

He never wanted this to end.

Before long, her breathing became more erratic, her hands gripping his shoulders. 

“Faster. Please” she cried desperately 

He obliged 

His hips began speeding up, the sound of skin slapping filling the ear. His mind was in a haze. All he could see was her. All he could hear was her voice, desperately moaning his name, begging him to let her finish.

She tensed, her nails digging deeper into his back. Her brow furrowed as her body stiffened. She tightened around him, pulling him closer. Closer to her.

He couldn't take it.

As he came, his vision turned white and all he could feel was her. Her nails, her lips on his, her hand pulling his hair. 

She was art.

He rolled over, flopping next to her. His breathing erratic and his heart pounding.

“That.. was” he stammered out, struggling to catch his breath.

“Yeah” she breathed “yeah it was”

He turned on his side, studying her face. Looking for any sign of regret. 

There wasn't. She looked.. content

“You're so beautiful” he whispered, mostly to himself.

She looked at him, a small smile on her lips. “Thank you”

She planted a small kiss on his lips, finding her way back to him. Pressing her naked body against his. 

This was all he wanted

“Am tired” She muttered, her eyes struggling to stay open.

“Get some sleep, baby” He replied, running his fingers through her hair.

This was the one thing he knew would always get her to sleep. He wondered of Eric knew this.

She nodded slightly as he breathing steadied and light snores fell from her parted lips.

He studied her face. His hand traced her from her hip to her neck and back, pulling her closer as he watched.

She was art.

His mind was a whirlwind with the events of the past few hours. Here she was, his best friend, pressed naked against his body. In his bed.

And he felt like the whole world was at his hands. 

Because she was finally his. Even if only for tonight. 

He woke up alone the next morning. Every trace of her gone from his apartment. He searched for her with his arm when he woke, unable to feel her warmth. His eyes fluttered open to find her gone. 

“Annabelle” he called out. Only silence. He grabbed his phone, prepared to call her when he saw a notification from her

Annie with 2 heart and a laughing cat emoji (her pick. Not his)

His eyes scanned the text, his heart sinking with every line.

“Shawn. Thank you for being there for me. About… you know, I was fucked up and I didnt know what I was doing. I'm not saying it was a mistake, because God, it was far from it. I don't want this to ruin our friendship. I'm sorry I left without saying goodbye I just.. needed some time to think about everything. I'm going back home. I promise I'm okay. I'll call you later. Xoxo”

He let out a frustrated yell as he tossed his phone across the room, a loud thud as it landed on the floor.

Everything he ever wanted was just pulled away from him. And just like that, she was no longer his.

 

~~  
“I said yes!” The caption read. Shawn felt sick as he stared at the delicate diamond ring on her finger. 

The comments were filled with hearts and ‘congrats’ and ‘I'm so happy for you’. He wish he could say he felt that way. He wanted so desperately to be happy for his best friend.

But he couldn't. Because that should be him.

That should be his ring on her finger. That should be him kissing her cheek. That should be him getting the congratulations. 

She should be his.

“Did you hear the news? Belle is getting married!” His mom messaged him. He wanted to puke at the thought of Eric getting to call her his wife.

His Annabelle. The person he would move worlds just to see smile. 

But she wasn't his. And now she wouldn't be.

 

~~  
They never really talked about that night. He wanted so desperately to. It was agony. Like his skin was being ripped apart and wanting everything to spill out. 

Instead, he chose to ignore it. She made her choice. She chose Eric. 

“Gosh, I feel like I have so much to do and so little time!” She said, rummaging through all the flowers in the small shop spotted in town.

Shawn nodded, not really listening to what she was saying. He hated talking about the wedding because he knew it shouldn't happen. At least not with Eric.

“Are you listening” she pouted, pulling him out of his own head.

“Hm, yeah. Yeah.” He nodded, trying to remember what she'd said.

“Then which one should I go with. Daffodils or carnations?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Um… I don't know, the first one”

“Shaaawn” she sighed “I'm allergic to daffodils”

“Right. Right, yeah you get all itchy” he nodded, the memory of their field trip the botanical gardens from grade 5 replaying in his head. 

She had to be out of school for a week.

“Shawn. I know you're not happy about the wedding..” she started.

“No, I'm happy for you. You know I am.”

“You're not happy its eric”

“Bingo” he said

She let out a deep sigh “Shawn”

“I know I know, he's changed” he said, bitterly.

He knew she hadn't. He'd seen the bruises again, but this time she refused to tell him about them. She didn't call him when they fought. 

He knew why. He knew what they'd done had changed their relationship. 

“He has”

“Uh huh”

She sighed again, her head dropping slightly before looking at him once more.

“Let's go get some food” 

Shawn agreed, wanting to change the subject, willing the visions of her soft naked body pressed against him. The feeling of her pulsing around him.

He clenched his fist, digging his nails into his palm to distract him.

She wasn't his. He had to remember that.

~  
He doesn't remember much of how he got here. One minute he was taking a shot of something clear that burned his throat and warmed his body  
The next he was stumbling down a familiar street, looking at each building number as he passed until he stopped in front of a familiar one. 

This was her place. 

He stumbled on the elevator to her floor, liquid courage coursing through his veins.

He couldn't dance around this anymore. He had to talk to her. 

Tap.

Tap.

Tap.

“Shawn?” She said, as she answered the door. “It's almost midnight. Are you alright?”

“Do you love me?” He demanded, pushing past her and ignoring the question”

“What? Of course I do” she started

“No. I don't mean in the bullshit “best friends forever’ way. Do you love me, Annabelle” 

He wasn't sure why he sounded so angry. He wasn't mad at her. He was mad at Eric for taking her from him. He was mad at himself for letting this get so far. But not at her”

“You're drunk” she said, her voice flat and her arms crossed.

“So what if I am. Answer the question.” He stared back at her, hoping for something. Anything.

“Shawn..” 

“Because I love you. I love you so fucking much that it makes me sick. My heart feels like it's being ripped from my body every time he touches you. Or kisses you. I can't stop thinking about you. I want to. God, I so fucking want to. But all I can think about is you. and us. And that night and how everything felt right and I'm drowning right now, Annabelle. I'm drowning because all I want is you and to be with you and to hold you and kiss you and feel you against me again and it's driving me fucking insane that he's in my place”

Her mouth dropped open slightly, the words seeming to struggle to come out. 

“Shawn..”

“And I know I'm an idiot and I shouldn't have let this happen but god, I want you so bad, it physically hurts. And every Goddamn time i have to pick up the broken pieces he's left of you I just want to scream and tell you I can be better for you. I can treat you better than he ever and every time you go back, you kill me more and more.”

Hes shaking at this point. Every word he's been bottling up for the last few years spilling out like a waterfall into a river. It's both exhilarating and nauseating.

“Shawn..” She said again. This time, he let her talk

“Shawn. I care about you. I care about you so much but..”

“Annie” he interrupted her again “he doesn't deserve.”

“I love him”

The words cut deep. 

“I love him and I'm going to marry him. That night was.. amazing. You. Are amazing. But… there was nothing more than.. comfort.”

“That's bullshit” he spat “Why are you afraid”

“I'm not!” She argued, her voice raising at him and her brow scrunched in anger. She let out a sigh “You're my best friend. You know how much you mean to me”

“That's not enough anymore”

She took a step back, like she had just been punched.

“So what are you saying” her eyes began to shine with tears.

“I'm saying.. Tell me you love me. Please. Because I cant keep being just best friends. I need more of you. Just tell me that you love me. That you feel the same and… if… if not… I'll just go” 

He wasn't sure why he said this. He wasn't sure why he felt the need to do this. But it wasn't enough anymore. He couldn't keep picking up the pieces for Eric to tear down over and over again. She was his life line. She was the air in his lungs. 

“If you tell me you really love him and that there is nothing for us. I'll go. And we can pretend nothing happened and I'll go on living without you. I just.. I have to know”

He could hear his blood rushing in his ears, like everything was under water and he was struggling to get back to the surface.

“I… i…” she stammered

“Please” He whispered, willing the tears not to fall. He knew what she would say. He knew her far too well.

“I love you, Shawn. I love you so much. Just… not.. like that. I'm in love with Eric. We're getting married in 4 months. He’s what I want. I...I'm so sorry” she said, her eyes not meeting his.

And that was it. He could feel his heart shatter, the wind being knocked out of his lungs and the sloshing of alcohol in his stomach.

“Okay” he said, turning around and walking out, closing the door

“Shawn, wait!” She called after him. He ignored her, making his way straight back to the elevator, begging his brain to hold it together until he's away from her.

 

He made it outside before the contents of his stomach emptied itself into a nearby bush. 

Sobs racked his body, trembling from the cold and the emotion running through him. 

She wasn't his. She didn't want to be his.

~

The alcohol burned going down. He motion to the bartender for another round. He was silently scrolling through her Instagram, looking at her posts about wedding stuff. The dress she picked out that cascaded perfectly down her body, he makeup session that amplified her already natural beauty. The bridesmaids in their dresses. 

The wedding was 3 weeks away. He felt sick. So he kept drinking. 

Soon the photos became a blur and he scrolled, not really looking. He stopped on one of her and him from about a year ago.

“Bestest friend! Come back to me soon 😭” the caption read. It was right before he left for tour. Their cheeks pressed against each others and a goofy smile on their face. 

“That your girlfriend?” A voice next to him spoke, pulling him out of his daze.

He look over to see a girl, probably in her mid 20's with long brown hair, blue eyes, way too much makeup, and a dress that barely covered her ass. 

“No.” He said bitterly. He cleared his throat, putting on a more pleasant tone. “No, she's uh. Just a friend”

“Sounds like you want more than “just a friend"”

Her eyes met his and he could tell only one thing was on her mind.

“Well I'm Dee. Wanna talk about it” She said, a smirk on her pink lips.

 

Shawn nodded, motioning to the bartender for another drink.

 

~  
The door to Shawn apartment was kicked open, a tangle of bodies and sloppy kisses falling through the door. She guided his hand to her ass and he gripped firmly, smirking as a moan fell from the woman's lips.

He pushed her against the door pinning her hands over her head as he attacked her neck, leaving large purple marks behind as he did.

“Mm, you're good at this” she gasped, nails scratching at his scalp.

Shawn smirked, pressing his lips to hers again as his hand traveled up her far too short dress.

He pushed the thought of Annabelle from his mind and focused on the woman in front of him. Dee, if he remember correctly. Not that he really cared.

Because he couldn't have her. As bad as he wanted her, he couldn't. 

Dee wasn't her. Not anywhere close to the way her skin felt on his. The way her breath made his skin tingle and his mind foggy.

She wasn't her. But for now, she would do. 

 

~  
“What the fuck is wrong with you” She said, storming into his apartment before he could even say anything.

The loud banging on his door startled him from sleep, head pounding from the amount of alcohol that had been consumed just a few hours earlier 

 

“Good morning to you too, Annabelle” he replied, sarcastically.

He didn't have the energy to fight. He just wanted to stay in bed and forget everything.

“Don't get smart with me, asshole. Why the hell have you been ignoring me”

To his credit, he hadn't been ignoring her. He'd just been drunk pretty much every night since their talk, he couldn't even function enough to do much else.

He'd seen Dee a couple of times since their first encounter 2 weeks prior. She wasn't the same, but she took the sadness away.

“ I haven't ignored you” he defended

“Oh really? I've called you 4 times today, 3 times yesterday and over 20 times the last 2 weeks. That sounds like ignoring to me! And even your mother hasn't heard from you!”

“I've been busy, okay. I'm sorry” he sighed

“Shawn, I'm getting married in a week. As my best friend, you're supposed to be there for me!” She yelled. She rarely ever yelled. He could barely remember the last time she yelled at him. “I need you”

“No you don't. You've got your sister. And Eric” he scoffed

She rolled her eyes “is that what this is about? Shawn I thought you said we'd go back to normal”

“Easier said than done when you tell someone you love then and they say the dont care”

“I never said I don't care. Don't put words in my mouth”

“Well you sure as shit made it seem that way” 

Now he was angry. How dare she. How dare she come to his house and demand an explanation. 

“What's gotten into you?” She stated, her eyes wide with concern. He'd be enamored if he wasn't so fucking miserable.

“You did! You fuck my head up so bad that I can't even think straight.”

“Don't blame your feelings on me! I didn't tell you to fall in love with me” she yelled back, anger radiating from her body

“I didn't want this either, Annabelle! I wanted to stay friends. I wanted to be happy for you and right now it would be so much easier to just fucking hate you but even now, I can't stop thinking about you. I love you so fucking much that it kills me to even see you or talk to you or be around you. I didn't want any of this”

“So what, you don't even want to be friends now?” she said, sadness on her face.

He didn't know what to say. There wasn't anything to say. So he acted.

He pulled her to him, hands gripping her wrists and slamming his lips onto hers. She resisted for a moment before sinking into the kiss, pressing her body against his.

This. This is what he needed. He needed to feel her again. 

She was much softer than Dee. More patient and slow. She was responsive to every touch.

His lips pressed against hers roughly, pressing her back against the door, her wrist pinned above her head.

He pushed his hips against hers, grinding himself against. He felt drunk again, a more satisfying intoxicating that he never wanted to end.

She moaned as her hips pushed against his, causing more friction. A groan in caught in his throat as he moved his hips, wanting so bad to feel her around him again.

He slid her pants down just past her hips and moved his hands hurriedly up her thighs, index finger circling her clit. There was nothing slow about this. There was no love in this. All he could feel was anger, desire, despair and heartbreak. 

He wanted her any way he could get her.

He shoved two fingers in her, thrusting in and out rapidly. He felt her body tremble against him, he knees shaking with each thrust.

“God, Shawn” she moaned, her mouth nipping at the skin of his shoulder. 

He wondered of Eric made her moan like this. Made her whole body tense up and tremble. He wondered if he ever made her beg for more. 

The thoughts only fueled his anger. 

He quickly removed his fingers and slid into her, skipping the slow burn. He wanted her. He needed her now. He needed to remember one more time before she was gone forever.

He thrusted harshly, he hips slamming into the door as he guided her legs around his waist.

Her head fell back against the door, eyes shut and mouth agape. She was so fucking beautiful.

“Shawn, p-please. S-shawn” she moaned, her voice filling his ears. Her pleading moans only egging him on. 

He pushed harder against her, feeling himself reaching his breaking point

“S-shawn i-'m gonna” she moaned before falling silent, her head falling back against the door before a loud moan ripped from her throat.

She tenses around him, nails digging into his back. It stung and he's sure the skin probably broke but he didnt care. He was so drunk within her, he could practically feel no pain. All he felt was her, pulsing and tending around him.

That's all he needed. He came quickly, a guttural moan sliding out from him as his forehead fell against hers. Her soft breath swept across his face, the smell of mint filling his nose.

“Please” he begged, the weight of everything crashing around him. He didn't realize he was crying up until he felt the warm liquid drip on his collarbone

“Please don't leave me” He begged, his word sounding more pathetic than intended

She dropped her legs from around his waist, pushing him back from her. It was like a slap to the face.

“I-.. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry Shawn” she said, tears falling from her eyes. 

She quickly collected herself, rearranged her clothes, grabbed her bag and left. He was alone. 

He sank down to the floor, sobs and coughs leaving his body. He couldn't do this. He couldn't be alone.

He grabbed his phone, composing himself and dialled a number.

“Hey.. what are you doing tonight? And be sure to bring a bottle”

Dee wasn't Annie. She never could be. But she would do. She would have to.

 

~

It was the day of her wedding and he sat at home, staring out the window. He knew he should go. He knew he should be there for her. 

That's what best friends are supposed to do. Granted, he'd been a shitty best friend the past year.

He hadn't talked to her since that night. He hadn't talk to anyone really, not even Dee who left many an angry text and voicemail until she just stopped calling altogether.

It was better that way, he suspected. He knew he could never fall for Dee. She was a distraction. She was beautiful, that was true. But Annabelle.

She was art.

He sighed as he played on his couch, trying to will himself to get up. He should be there. At least to try to stop her.

But he knew it wouldn't work. She chose Eric. She wasn't his. 

His mom had called, asking if he wanted to ride together. His mom love Annabelle. She was like another child to her. 

He had told his mom no, that he probably wasn't going because he wasn't feeling well. He didn't lie, technically. His heart felt sick. Like his blood was pumping at half the rate. He barely felt alive at this point.

His mom pleaded with him, but he refused. She just didn't understand. 

But maybe he should go. Just rip the bandaid off. He had to see it happen. Had to see it to make himself believe. 

She really never was going to be his.

A soft knock at the door broke him from his thoughts. He sighed, wishing his mom wasn't so protective.

He loved his mom, he really did, but he sure as hell wished she would respect his decisions. 

“Mom, I told you I'-” he started opening the door. His words caught when he saw who was really there.

It was her. 

“Annabelle” he breathed. It was like the air in his lungs was replaced with smoke. He felt like he was suffocating.

Her hair was done and her makeup looked flawless. An elevated natural look she would call it. He remembered from all the stupid makeup tutorials on YouTube she would force him to watch

“It's important you know this stuff” she would say.

He never understood why. He does now.

He sees how beautiful she is. Her eyes lined with inky black that brought out the shimmer of her brown eyes. She was stunning

“What are you-” he started again

“Tell me I'm making a mistake” she said, her pleading eyes searching his.

“What do you-” he started, only to be interrupted again

“Tell me I'm an idiot and i'm making a huge mistake that will ruin my life forever”

“Annabelle”

“Shawn, please”

He sighed, looking at her and taking her hand. He could feel her trembling. “Annie. You know how I feel about this. I've said it many times. But if you love him-”

“I don't”

Shawn's eyes widened. He had to shake his head slightly to make sure he heard correctly.

“But I though-”

“I thought I did too. And I wanted to. I wanted to try so bad because even through all the fucked up things he did to me, I got.. comfortable. And then you..”

She sighed putting her head down.

“What” Shawn pushed. His hands began trembling as much as hers. His brain was static and white noise

“You. You ran through my head. You and your stupid smile and your stupid laugh and the dumb way your hair falls all over the place that I always have to push out of your face” She took a deep breath “And the way you held me when I cried and the way that no matter how awful I was to you, you were always there to let me cry on your shoulder”

 

“Annabelle”

“Just.. wait. Let me finish” She starting, squeezing his hand. It felt like sparks were buzzing through his skin, but he loved every minute of it.

“It was always you. You were my support. You were the person I cried to. The person I leaned on. You never abandoned me, even when I deserved it. And I've been so shitty to you these past few months because I was afraid.” She said, her eyes darting to the floor.

“Of what” his voice barely above a whisper.

“That you loved me. And that I love you. I always knew I did. That's why I was so upset about Camilla. I didn't know it at the time. I just thought I missed you and you were going to forget about me but… it was because all this time it was you. It's always been you.”

“Annabelle” his heart fluttered.

“Wait, I promise I'm almost done.. you showed me what love was. What being in love was. You showed me my worth. You make me feel beautiful and confident and sexy. You showed me how I should be treated and I was afraid that you would either not feel the same or that you would find someone better. I didn't want to lose my best friend. I wanted to have you in some capacity and i was a fucking idiot and tried to stop myself from falling for you. But I couldn't. And here I am, on my wedding day telling you all of this like it will make a difference when I've already fucked everything up between us and I just… I love you so fucking much Shawn. I love you so much and I'm so sorry. I'm gonna go but I just. I had to tell-”

Her words caught on her throat as he pulled her in, his lips crashing against hers. The stickiness of her lip gloss coating his lips. He didn't care. He couldn't be be bothered to care at this point.

She loved him. She loved him and he loved her and all seemed right in the world.

“I love you” he mutter against he lips “God, I fucking love you”

She sighed as her lips moved against his, pulling herself closer to him.

He hadn't felt this complete in ages. Like the fog he was living in was lifted and the sun had finally returned.

She loved him.

She pulled back, he eyes shining bright as a smile plastered her face. Her lip gloss was ruined, but she still looked beautiful.

“You are an idiot” He said, a smile on his lips and well.

She hit his arm gently, pulling him back in for another kiss.

~~

 

Their bodies moved together, their moans filling the room and their lips crashing against each other. There was no desperation. No sadness. This was just love. This was affection. This was true passion.

This was making love.

He nipped at her neck as his thrust gently, her moans filling his ears and her fingertips brushing gently down his back. 

This was the feeling he desired. Being this close to her. Being inside her. It was the most intoxicating feeling and the world and he would stay like this forever if the world allowed it.

“God, Shawn” she moaned out as she clenched around him, he body shuttering with every thrust.

 

He knew she was close. He learned her body quickly. He studied every movement. Every parted lip and shimmering breath. How her eyes would flutter when something felt good or how her hands would grasp the sheets when he slid into her.

He knew every inch of her and he wanted to know more.

Because she was art

“Cum for me, baby” he growled in her ear. He heard her breath catch as she tensed, her body convulsing as she pulsed around him, bringing him to his end.

His fingertips dug into her hips, pulling her even closer. He felt his body weight become too much and he collapsed on top of her 

“Wow” she breathed out, running a hand through her hair

“Yeah” he said, giving a breathy laugh.

She had called off the wedding and broke it off with Eric. Most people were surprised. Some were not.

He glanced over at her, a goofy smile on his face.

She glanced over at him, a smile of confusion on her face.

“What?” She asked

“Nothing… you're just really beautiful” he said, placing a light kiss on her shoulder.

“Don't make this a rom com, dork” she said, hitting him with a pillow

“Hey, I will be cheesy all I want, I've been waiting 3 years for this” he said, hitting her back.

She smiled at him, bringing herself close until her body was pressed against his.

“I'm sorry.”

“Don't be” he said, placing a feather light kiss on her lips. “You're here now.”

She smiled, her eyes fluttering closed as her head lies against his chest. 

“I love you, Chawnie”

“I love you too, Annie. More than you'll ever know”

He held her close as she drifted off to sleep, and he was at peace because he knew. He knew that she'd be there when he woke up. And she'd be there every day for the rest of their lives.

Because he was hers and she. She was finally his.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like it. Any feedback is appreciated!


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